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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:48 am 
Godzilla
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  • After considering the idea of individually-assigned Porta-johns, the ComMittee decided that it simply wouldn't be a good enough way to accommodate their non-paying guests. Instead, they turned to the ComFest Robotics Division, who provided a ground-breaking solution: Portable Porta-Johns. These motorized booths are equipped with all-terrain wheels and artificial intelligence, allowing them to follow their assigned waste-donor to every corner of Goodale Park. Each adult festival-goer is entitled to one (1) PPJ unit and an optional (but highly recommended) training seminar on obedience.* When the guest is ready to leave the premises, they simply kick over the PPJ where it will remain until it can be collected by the ComFest Cleaning Department** at the end of the night.


*The PPJ may have certain questions for you that should not be answered under any circumstances.
**Volunteer slots are still available.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:20 pm 
Godzilla
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Aren't Phil Dirt and the Dozers headlining this year?

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:51 pm 
Godzilla
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annie oakley wrote:
Aren't Phil Dirt and the Dozers headlining this year?

God willing. Negotiations are still underway. The trouble is Phil will only deal with Mark Fisher, and the ComMittee has to pull off a Weekend-at-Bernie's deal with a mannequin.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:43 am 
Godzilla
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I want to put a few rumors to rest, as they arise...

There will be no entry fee to The Last Weekend in June this year, but you will, however, be required to demonstrate the secret handshake.

In order to demonstrate the Principals of ComfestTM, there will be less music, but an additional beer tent Cha-Ching $$$.

The Offramp will still exist, just renamed to the OffProperty. Moving the stage further up Goodale might seem like a bad idea at first, but don't worry, this will alleviate the parking problem since there is ample parking in Grandview. Bonus, the Grandview cops, despite their reputation, are way more reasonable than the ones the FOP plans on sending into Goodale Park.

Also, the use of the name C&^%&#*t is not public domain and should not be used here, in a blog, print, or any other type of media. When referring to The Last Weekend in June in conversation, please be mindful that the $$$ that you spend at this event, nor the hours that you spend volunteering gives you the right to use the name for your own purposes. You know, like informing your friends how you will spend your summer. :naughty:

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:00 am 
Mechagodzilla
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redrabbit wrote:
I want to put a few rumors to rest, as they arise...

There will be no entry fee to The Last Weekend in June this year, but you will, however, be required to demonstrate the secret handshake.

In order to demonstrate the Principals of ComfestTM, there will be less music, but an additional beer tent Cha-Ching $$$.

The Offramp will still exist, just renamed to the OffProperty. Moving the stage further up Goodale might seem like a bad idea at first, but don't worry, this will alleviate the parking problem since there is ample parking in Grandview. Bonus, the Grandview cops, despite their reputation, are way more reasonable than the ones the FOP plans on sending into Goodale Park.

Also, the use of the name C&^%&#*t is not public domain and should not be used here, in a blog, print, or any other type of media. When referring to The Last Weekend in June in conversation, please be mindful that the $$$ that you spend at this event, nor the hours that you spend volunteering gives you the right to use the name for your own purposes. You know, like informing your friends how you will spend your summer. :naughty:



:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: this shits gettin' real :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: real funny :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: how about CLUSTERFUCKFEST :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: is that taken :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

oh, and you are allowed to have fun this year....if you bring a gun >>>>but only an unregistered gun.


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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:10 am 
Godzilla
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redrabbit wrote:
I want to put a few rumors to rest, as they arise...

There will be no entry fee to The Last Weekend in June this year, but you will, however, be required to demonstrate the secret handshake.

In order to demonstrate the Principals of ComfestTM, there will be less music, but an additional beer tent Cha-Ching $$$.

The Offramp will still exist, just renamed to the OffProperty. Moving the stage further up Goodale might seem like a bad idea at first, but don't worry, this will alleviate the parking problem since there is ample parking in Grandview. Bonus, the Grandview cops, despite their reputation, are way more reasonable than the ones the FOP plans on sending into Goodale Park.

Also, the use of the name C&^%&#*t is not public domain and should not be used here, in a blog, print, or any other type of media. When referring to The Last Weekend in June in conversation, please be mindful that the $$$ that you spend at this event, nor the hours that you spend volunteering gives you the right to use the name for your own purposes. You know, like informing your friends how you will spend your summer. :naughty:

:shock: Wow, going dark with it. :) Seems like there're some truths being couched in there too, though. Are they actually moving the Offramp stage?

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:21 am 
Godzilla
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oh just having a little fun with it. I am sure lazyfish will be around to hand me my ass soon enough.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:51 am 
Mothra
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abstraction wrote:
Seems like there're some truths being couched in there too, though. Are they actually moving the Offramp stage?



Yea, it's gonna be at BoBo.


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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:55 am 
Godzilla
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  • Great news for bands that want the stage voucher, but don't want to volunteer. Simply download the petition form, obtain 0.95 to 7 signatures (no more, no less), and leave it in any mailbox.* As stated earlier, the applicant will be entitled to the time slot and stage of their choice.



*All ComMunications™ are being monitored by agents. Sorry about those test results, btw.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:41 pm 
Godzilla
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  • After carefully reviewing the new policy that allows bands to choose their own timeslots, the ComMittee™ identified the possibility for several scheduling conflicts. To resolve this issue, the ComFest™ Quantum Physics SubComMittee™ bridged the gaps between alternate realities and coordinated a schedule with the other ComMittee™s to allow different bands to play simultaneously in each of the particpating realities.* When spread out across the multiverse, however, the talent pool thinned to the point where it became necessary to pare down each reality's lineup by 40-50 bands. The COTA buses** have been upgraded to accommodate interdimensional travel, but festivalgoers are advised to be mindful of the last scheduled route times for each day. Especially Sunday.


*Not all of the alternate realities have a ComFest™; of the ones that do, a significant number lack an Offramp stage.

**The schedules are special edition textbooks, which can be purchased in the Physics section of the Campus bookstore.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:02 am 
Godzilla
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Jawbreaker wrote:
Cancelled.

This simple misunderstanding began in the ComMerchandising™ Dept., and very nearly spun out of control. There was a transcription error during a presentation about the new line of Official ComFest™ body paint when the presenter spoke of the number of "ComFest™ cans sold."
As is standard procedure, the RSVP SubComMittee™ began to issue handwritten apologies and cancellation notices to everyone in Ohio. Thankfully, they only got as far as the "B's" before the mistake was clarified.*


*They actually would've gotten even further had it not been for a similar misunderstanding when "Breaker, Jaw" came up in the address list. His uninvitation was the last to go into that day's batch of outgoing mail, since the resulting dental emergency made for a convenient stopping point.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 12:25 pm 
Godzilla
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I heard that Billy Cool is headlining. You know he's going to write a "song" about a fishboat.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 12:30 pm 
Godzilla
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thefiercelime wrote:
You know he's going to write a "song" about a fishboat.

RRC would have another term for it.*


*Edit: I'm being purposefully esoteric. It's an ancient reference that maybe 3-5 of you should understand and isn't worth explaining if you don't know it.

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Last edited by abstraction on Tue May 18, 2010 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 12:43 pm 
Donewaiting Comfest Commitee Liaison
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FYI- the drunk dude that looks like Jack Hannah really isn't Jack Hannah.
FYI #2- the salamander in the popcorn on faux Jack Hannah's lap at the "Pet A Salamander" booth, really isn't a salamander.
FYI #3- The salamander is faux Jack Hannah's real penis.
FYI #4- It's really not worth $15 to touch a drunk dudes dick.


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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 2:59 pm 
King Ghidorah
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thefiercelime wrote:
I heard that Billy Cool is headlining. You know he's going to write a "song" about a fishboat.

What's up with "fishboat"? Is it a fishing boat? I already hve a song about fishing. I'm gonna play it on Sunday at the Karma to Burn show!

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:10 pm 
Godzilla
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BillyCool wrote:
What's up with "fishboat"?

I know of it mostly by reputation, but one of the main attractions of the vendor aisle is an entree with a lot of breaded fish.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:19 pm 
King Ghidorah
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abstraction wrote:
BillyCool wrote:
What's up with "fishboat"?

I know of it mostly by reputation, but one of the main attractions of the vendor aisle is an entree with a lot of breaded fish.


For me, it's not ComFest without a broccoli burger.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:29 pm 
King Ghidorah
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BillyCool wrote:

For me, it's not ComFest without a broccoli burger.


but who wants to hear a song about a broccoli burger?


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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:37 pm 
King Ghidorah
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patradio wrote:
BillyCool wrote:

For me, it's not ComFest without a broccoli burger.


but who wants to hear a song about a broccoli burger?


Don't tempt me.

Has anybody written and recorded a Comfest song? Maybe we should write one!

I'll get us started:

"It's a party in the park,
but now the bands stop playing before dark
It's a party in the city
It's fun, but planners are shitty"

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:41 pm 
Godzilla
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patradio wrote:
BillyCool wrote:

For me, it's not ComFest without a broccoli burger.


but who wants to hear a song about a broccoli burger?

Vegans are weird enough to be into that sort of thing, but as the well-known song says "You don't win friends with salad."

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:01 pm 
Snarf

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Posts: 40
BillyCool wrote:
patradio wrote:
BillyCool wrote:

For me, it's not ComFest without a broccoli burger.


but who wants to hear a song about a broccoli burger?


Don't tempt me.

Has anybody written and recorded a Comfest song? Maybe we should write one!

I'll get us started:

"It's a party in the park,
but now the bands stop playing before dark
It's a party in the city
It's fun, but planners are shitty"


84 Nash had a song about Comfest. It was pretty effing awesome.


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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:05 pm 
Godzilla
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I was going to say the same. Just about everything 84 Nash did rocked.

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:45 pm 
King Ghidorah
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thefiercelime wrote:
I was going to say the same. Just about everything 84 Nash did rocked.

Were can I find this song?

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 11:48 pm 
Mechagodzilla
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BillyCool wrote:
thefiercelime wrote:
I was going to say the same. Just about everything 84 Nash did rocked.

Were can I find this song?

One of the old Alive CDs from before my evil regime

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 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 8:29 am 
Snarf

Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:25 pm
Posts: 40
thefiercelime wrote:
I was going to say the same. Just about everything 84 Nash did rocked.


Amen!

DeVille wrote:
BillyCool wrote:
thefiercelime wrote:
I was going to say the same. Just about everything 84 Nash did rocked.

Were can I find this song?

One of the old Alive CDs from before my evil regime


I bet you probably have one of those old CDs lying around the office somewhere. And I bet you know how to use the internets and post it. I just found my copy but I don't know how to use the internets. I think this thread needs some Comfest love.


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