blog | facebook | twitter
C'MON C'MON THE CLUB IS OPEN
It is currently Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:10 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 120 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:03 pm 
Donewaiting.com Staff
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2002 6:26 pm
Posts: 11658
Location: Park Slope
jill ebenezer wrote:
Ok, I was given a greenlight to release this to Donewaiting first. Duffy, where is my $200?

Marshall Barnes will have his time travel machine at Comfest. It is not a hot tub (lawsuit pending, motherfuckers). It is a tanning machine. There are 100 slots for people wanting to travel through time. There is one catch, all participants must have a below average IQ or be an all around asshole (myself not included). The reason for this is so they can (hopefully) Marty McFly themselves and eradicate their persona from history. This will be set up ala suprise reality show where many people are involved in "getting rid of" the assholes. We will snap polaroid pictures of the assholes. Once they are sent to whatever year they want to go to we will then watch their image disappear.

Marshall and Comfest have given you, posters at donewaiting, the opportunity to have first dibs on who "goes" first. He has reserved the first 10 slots for donewaiting nominations exlusively.

If you have any questions for Marshall and what SPF sunscreen you should wear, please direct them to

Iamnocrackpot@mailgspot.com

I will take the first 10 nominations...now.


When I told Congress and the people of America that Jill was the right person to be our Comfest Liaison, they all gave me static. They said that it was a huge mistake and that the Friendship Farmers weren't ready for these sort of changes.

These last few days have shown that THIS WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

_________________
C'MON C'MON THE CLUB IS OPEN


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:12 pm 
Friendship Farmer of the Year 2006
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:05 am
Posts: 7620
Location: The Cookie Capital of the World
robertduffy wrote:
jill ebenezer wrote:
Ok, I was given a greenlight to release this to Donewaiting first. Duffy, where is my $200?

Marshall Barnes will have his time travel machine at Comfest. It is not a hot tub (lawsuit pending, motherfuckers). It is a tanning machine. There are 100 slots for people wanting to travel through time. There is one catch, all participants must have a below average IQ or be an all around asshole (myself not included). The reason for this is so they can (hopefully) Marty McFly themselves and eradicate their persona from history. This will be set up ala suprise reality show where many people are involved in "getting rid of" the assholes. We will snap polaroid pictures of the assholes. Once they are sent to whatever year they want to go to we will then watch their image disappear.

Marshall and Comfest have given you, posters at donewaiting, the opportunity to have first dibs on who "goes" first. He has reserved the first 10 slots for donewaiting nominations exlusively.

If you have any questions for Marshall and what SPF sunscreen you should wear, please direct them to

Iamnocrackpot@mailgspot.com

I will take the first 10 nominations...now.


When I told Congress and the people of America that Jill was the right person to be our Comfest Liaison, they all gave me static. They said that it was a huge mistake and that the Friendship Farmers weren't ready for these sort of changes.

These last few days have shown that THIS WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.


This is a big fucking deal.

_________________
It was fifteen years ago, but I remember it like it was ten.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:25 pm 
Donewaiting Comfest Commitee Liaison
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2005 8:12 pm
Posts: 878
Location: Washington Beach
Abstraction- good point and I assure you that we have taken no precaution against this butterfly effect for the sole reason that the Comfest committee hates Ashton Kutcher and 100% refuses to acknowledge any work he has ever done.

One more thing, participants may not take 2010 money and buy a fuckload of 1986 beer tokens in hopes of getting lit on the cheap. Participants may not bring any money. Instead, we will provide participants with some job applications for Burger Chef (or whatever) or can take up some Terminator type job (walking around naked, blowing up cars, etc).

IN THE FUTURE, THIS WILL BE BILLED AS "SURVIVOR: YESTERDAY".

Duffy, thanks for the support. I am working my hardest to make 2010 the year of the beast.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:55 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Posts: 2590
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
jill ebenezer wrote:
I am working my hardest to make 2010 the year of the beast.

This just in:
  • ComFest signed a deal that ensures at least 2 taps of every beer booth will be devoted to dispensing the refreshing, premium quality flavor of Milwaukee's Best.

_________________
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.

Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:09 pm 
Mechagodzilla
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 12:11 am
Posts: 1566
Location: mustee bunkerz
Somebody told me that Goodale Park was going to be divided in half on a line roughly from Collins Ave. to Russell St. and a 20' barbed wire barrier will be erected. The Bozo stage will be transformed into an arena where those who wish to cross the barrier must engage one another in mortal combat. The warrior triumphant may have free reign over the other half of the park, but if he/she decides to cross back over, he/she must face two foes from their original clan simultaneously. Each subsequent crossing of the line adds another combatant to the battle against you.

Pre-registration for north or south sides will be accepted at the Comfest website starting April 1st. Choose wisely.

_________________
i'll never be a bowie, i'll never be an eno. i'll only ever be a gary numan.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 4:04 pm 
Mechagodzilla
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 12:11 am
Posts: 1566
Location: mustee bunkerz
oh, also, whoever crosses the line the most times over the course of the weekend without succumbing to their death in the Bozodome wins a free turkey leg or fishboat (festival organizer's choice).

_________________
i'll never be a bowie, i'll never be an eno. i'll only ever be a gary numan.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 4:31 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Posts: 2590
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
justin wrote:
oh, also, whoever crosses the line the most times over the course of the weekend without succumbing to their death in the Bozodome wins a free turkey leg or fishboat (festival organizer's choice).

I've yet to try either of those items, but they looked to be appropriate prizes. I'm unclear on the battle system, though. Is there only one fight at a time to get across? Are you fighting someone from the other side to get in? Are you made the ruler of the side you enter, each time you enter it?

_________________
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.

Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:11 pm 
Mechagodzilla
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 12:11 am
Posts: 1566
Location: mustee bunkerz
Yes, one fight at a time. Travelers/gladiators will line up for the opportunity to cross the border. The contestant from each side next in line will square off in the Bozodome, regardless of size, age, gender, or other differences (it is Comfest, after all). Each bout is to be heralded with trumpet fanfare to call the attention of denizens of both sides. Unfortunately, no leadership positions are to be bestowed upon the victors, but safe passage is to be assured throughout the warrior's travels. That is, of course, until he deigns to return to his/her original side of the park. At that point, only the fighter's skills in the Bozodome can determine his/her fate...

_________________
i'll never be a bowie, i'll never be an eno. i'll only ever be a gary numan.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:23 pm 
Donewaiting Comfest Commitee Liaison
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2005 8:12 pm
Posts: 878
Location: Washington Beach
Basically a Red Rover for sadists? Let's make it happen.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:25 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Posts: 2590
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
justin wrote:
Yes, one fight at a time. Travelers/gladiators will line up for the opportunity to cross the border. The contestant from each side next in line will square off in the Bozodome, regardless of size, age, gender, or other differences (it is Comfest, after all). Each bout is to be heralded with trumpet fanfare to call the attention of denizens of both sides. Unfortunately, no leadership positions are to be bestowed upon the victors, but safe passage is to be assured throughout the warrior's travels. That is, of course, until he deigns to return to his/her original side of the park. At that point, only the fighter's skills in the Bozodome can determine his/her fate...


That seems Credible.*

Image


*Psssst!! Click the link to get the hidden punchline :!: :!: :o

_________________
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.

Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:32 pm 
Godzilla

Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2003 3:40 pm
Posts: 3020
Location: parts unknown
screw the trumpets, go sax. if its comfest its gotta include Mr.Starker

_________________
".......and Little Ernie Hudson!"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:19 am 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:33 am 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2003 1:10 pm
Posts: 6351
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST


Will there be an ironic lumberjack stage?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:34 am 
Friendship Farmer of the Year 2006
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:05 am
Posts: 7620
Location: The Cookie Capital of the World
Jawbreaker wrote:
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST


Will there be an ironic lumberjack stage?


Offramp.

_________________
It was fifteen years ago, but I remember it like it was ten.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:30 am 
Mechagodzilla
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2004 12:11 am
Posts: 1566
Location: mustee bunkerz
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST


so the entire day friday is just going to be a non sequitur preamble to the rest of the weekend?

i give that a 6.7, which is to say that i didn't listen to it, but i hate it even though i'm supposed to like it.

_________________
i'll never be a bowie, i'll never be an eno. i'll only ever be a gary numan.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:59 am 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Posts: 2590
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST

"PitchFest" is a great name if for no other reason than the logos will be much easier to alter for the jokes when people start complaining about it.*





*Though I still like Lifestyles Community Fest, most of all.

_________________
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.

Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:25 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2003 1:10 pm
Posts: 6351
abstraction wrote:
*Though I still like Lifestyles Community Fest, most of all.


Only if yr talking about the condom Co.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:47 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
Cookie wrote:
Jawbreaker wrote:
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST


Will there be an ironic lumberjack stage?


Offramp.


actually, its called the best new music stage

:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:50 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
there will also be an animal collective stage and they will be playing 12 hour sets everyday


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:52 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
joanna newsom is headlining the main stage with sigur ros as her backing band on saturday


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:57 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
the jazz stage will now be known as the chillwave stage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:01 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:12 pm
Posts: 3415
Location: not dead or in jail
abstraction wrote:
thisoneholymedium wrote:
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST

"PitchFest" is a great name if for no other reason than the logos will be much easier to alter for the jokes when people start complaining about it.*





*Though I still like Lifestyles Community Fest, most of all.


THIS JUST IN COMFEST WILL NOW BE KNOWN AS VAMPIRE WEEKEND


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 9:45 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:55 pm
Posts: 2792
Location: lost in the beautiful white ruins of america
thisoneholymedium wrote:

THIS JUST IN COMFEST WILL NOW BE KNOWN AS VAMPIRE WEEKEND



post of the year 2011

_________________
I'm not saying "faggy" because I don't like homosexuals, I happen to be a huge fan of Rob Halford, Ian Mckellen, and I'm pretty sure Kurt Cobain even said that he might be bisexual, hell I have a bisexual friend. I'm saying "faggy" to describe this guys voice.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:50 pm 
King Ghidorah
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:25 pm
Posts: 687
Location: Columbus, OH
justin wrote:
Yes, one fight at a time. Travelers/gladiators will line up for the opportunity to cross the border. The contestant from each side next in line will square off in the Bozodome, regardless of size, age, gender, or other differences (it is Comfest, after all). Each bout is to be heralded with trumpet fanfare to call the attention of denizens of both sides. Unfortunately, no leadership positions are to be bestowed upon the victors, but safe passage is to be assured throughout the warrior's travels. That is, of course, until he deigns to return to his/her original side of the park. At that point, only the fighter's skills in the Bozodome can determine his/her fate...


are you sure it's not a poetry slam read off? i heard different.

_________________
"My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
-unknown


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Official ComFest Libel Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:13 pm 
Godzilla
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Posts: 2590
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
youngstown tune-up wrote:
the breasts you see at comfest this year will all be breasts you want to see.

  • ComFest scientists have finally developed "Reverse X-Ray Specs," which will make every living being (human, animal, and plant) appear to the viewer as wearing a cardigan sweater. By next year, they hope to have perfected a "ratchet" switch, which will allow the viewer to choose among 4 settings: Clothed, Neutral, Naked, and X-tra Naked.*


*I'm glad you asked. As you might assume, the Naked setting will see past whatever articles of clothing happen to be there, but X-tra Naked takes it to the next level by adding breasts to everyone. Yes. EVERYone. The ComScientists are still a way's off from alpha testing this setting, but the spokesperson suggests that you'll want to exercise moderate to extreme caution.

_________________
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.

Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 120 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron


Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group






Buy a Premium BlogAd