Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:38 pm
Location: Nowhere without my stunt team
For those of you who weren't paying attention to this last year, I started keeping track of one particular proclamation that gets thrown around a lot: "Post of the Year." Every so often, I'll do a search for certain keywords, so if you'd like to flag a post for nomination, the best way is to quote it within its originating thread along with the phrase "POTY." But whatever. It worked before. We'll all figure it out. Let's get on with it.
Though you can only vote for one entry, you can change that vote as often as you like until the poll closes in January.
jill ebenezer wrote:
Duffy, can we put a limit on characters on these rookies (spam) 1st-20th posts? I don't even know this lame and he's treating this board like a motherfucking essay contest. We get it bro, you're an overachiever.
I was hoping this thread would be about euchre.
jill ebenezer wrote:
I didn't read this zygote's post. No one did.
jill ebenezer wrote:
Can you say, conspiracy to keep the Jews out? Nominated by BastardSuperstar & Jawbreaker <3 (Christ, what a mess. Okay. a: Jeb's first reply to the thread, which I included for context; b: Jeb's reply to TOHMmy, who asked what the first post was about; c: Jeb's reply to me when I said the nomination would have to count toward this year's poll.)
We already own the media so technically, I've already won.
Wexner Center should buy Don BNominated by missing stache's
whalrf u guysNominated by missing stache's
I heart bernies b/c
2.u can do drugs/have sex in the greatest soundbooth in cbus just ask ratboy. The soundbooth at bernies is for doing anything but sound. That PA never will work right and never should. Its a fucking basement, anything but vox and kick in the pa is retarted anyway. I put many mics in front of cabinets for your amusement. Chew on that whalrflatrons.
3.it's a rite of passage for young cbus up n comers.
4.U can knock ur head on that big ass pipe during load-in.
5.If u know which way the pool table leans u can win every game.
6.Rock and roll dive bars should be kind of dirty and rundown. Its neat.
7.The colorful clientele.
8.The cheap drinks that arent so cheap anymore.
9. I would never ever eat there, although close associates of mine say its fucking awesome.
10.I dont know why I love to stick up for bernies, Its a shithole, and u and I know that, but its a shithole that we're better off with than without. I'd be sad if it was gone. I still enjoy playin down there once a year or so. That is all and who cares what I think anyway.
PS Soundman Mike
11.Monitors, Shmonitors. I dont need to hear myself to know how to rock. I just turn the mains towards the stage. Turns the pa into a sidefill/frontfill. lol.
Ect, Ect wrote:
2000 to 2009 The Best Music From The Worst Decade Ever Nominated by abstraction (This one missed the cut last year. I didn't notice it until January.)
This past decade has truly been an abysmal age. From The Strokes to Paramore with too much George Bush givin us the “what what in the butt” in the all around. All the horrible 1980's materialism and shallow fashion addiction that we had worked so hard to smash up and run out of town resurrected as spandex survivor's guilt. Reopening the floodgates of racist, sexist, anti-intelligent crap onto the world. What's worse is that there shall forever be a generation who looks back on all this horror with nostalgia.
I'm just glad we can finally take this dying, mangy, mutt out back and with one slug, release it from it's sad, mortal coil. And released we all shall be. The advent of Youtube, Ubuntu, bit torrents, and (insert favorite social network here) have given Earth's people unprecedented access and insight into to each other. The long result will grow to a thriving media environment where great works will be made without regard to (but still including) profit or fame will be the norm. Not soon enough. In far too many way, these past ten years have simply been wasted time that we will never get back. Still, there were some high points, some great nights spent as drunken, huddled masses. Days when we thought we could scream away war and bigotry, and moments when we almost did.
This is a rough sketch of the few hours of this decade that were worth living through.
Beetles, Jay-Z, DJ Danger Mouse vs The Record Industry - The Grey Album
The official opening salvo of mash up culture. Something my dad I can enjoy for the next 20 years. The one saving grace of an otherwise depressing era is this kluster-sonic joyride through what you thought you knew.
84 Nash – A Secret Reward
The last great stand of the last great Dayton band. When the Nash broke up, God melted the mold with it. Thanks goodness they managed to release this most hummable opus before the end came.
Defiance Ohio – Share What You Got
Hands down, the official motion picture soundtrack of every raging party worth going to. Smelly kids, broken hearts, and escapist politics. Seriously, I had crush on Sherri when I was 15 and she was a crazy eyed bike messenger. I did a techno cover of “Chad's Favorite Song” for a Christmas compilation a couple years ago.
Silver Jews – Bright Flight
I'm so, so glad Dave Berman decided to grace us with his unhealthy wit. Really great interviews didn't come until the later albums, but this one has some real jukebox standards.
Sword Heaven – We Of The Fucking Mountains
I don't get the whole noise movement that took over the world for three or four years in the middle of the decade. My best guess is that it was somewhere between an attempt to sonically represent the anti-senseable quasi brutality of the day and the best attempts of those who like to talk a lot to present their inability to create as creation itself. Either way, this record stands out as the opposite of all the rest of that. Actually inspired, biologically rhythmic, and louder than God.
Beat The Devil - Self Titled
This NYC based trio always put on a great show, something Tom Waits himself may have gotten jealous of from time to time.
Columbus Needs A Mountain V/A
I can't believe how much mileage this compilation is still getting. The last leftover of a real effort to build a mountain in Columbus, Ohio.
Lifter/Puller – The Soft Rock
Warnings, therapy, and the best riffs ever. I tried to drown out the pain of the millennium with women, drugs, booze, and insomnia...after all of that failed this album was there to hold my hair back, kick me in the jaw, and send me back out with at little something to look forward to.
Times New Viking – We Were High/We Were Not High
The shotty 5 song EP that started it all. Still their best record to date
The Mighty Boosh – Season Two
I know these guys aren't a real jazz-funk band, but these guys are 8000% more of a real band than some of the stuff I had to put up with on the radio is the past ten years. And unlike the White Stripes, they actually have sex with each other!!
Best Bands That Came And Went
Fat Girls By The Snack Table -cbus
Bunkbed Nights - g rap
Chicks On Speed - germany
The Sewing Terrorists - g rap
Welcome To Concrete -cbus
The Scarlets -g rap
okay.. so a couple weeks ago i went for a light run. just a few miles. i went out to my car and grabbed my headphones.. i was gone like 25 minutes. i come walking up my alley and two kids come walking from my drive.. one kid goes "have you seen a dog?".. i didn't answer. it was suspicious, i knew something was going on, just wasn't sure what. i walk right past them and i see the interior light of my car is on. i turn around "you fucking assholes".. and the chase is on. they split up so i can only follow the smaller kid, who's maybe 12, 13 years old. he runs across high street while i on the other hand can only watch as cars whip by. 10 seconds later i can finally cross. there are two guys standing there that run the skate shop across from me. "Hey, you guys see a kid run by here?", "oh, you mean scott?" "YEA, that kid" "he lives over there in that house with the OSU flag". i knock on the door and some punk 16 yr old says scott doesn't live there, don't know who that is yadda yadda.. no parents home he says. typical punk ass bs. so i call 5-0. the kid took my sirius radio and the cops run over there. and gather info. i wanted so bad to knock on their door and say "hey, you assholes are harboring a KNOWN thief that stoll my fucking radio. i want my god damn radio back and a nice fucking apology and we can all put this behind us."Nominated by abstraction
i get a call from the police today. turns out the parents who i never spoke to were beligerent narcotics dealers. a BIG bust went down in that house.. parents off to jail, kids sent to relatives etc. a total mess. there's no telling what kind of insanity was going on.
i guess the moral is... if you don't know what you're getting into, best to stay out...?
who knows what coulda happened. i'm pissed off still, but those kids lives are fucked.
One of my better George Jones stories of the bender of 2008 was having two cars towed from a bar at 8pm, going to Shamrock and paying for both of them around 10pm or 1030pm after some debate and returning with both of the cars to the bar and drinking til 3am. Once you've spent that much at Shamrock you might as well run up the tab. It doesn't look like much by contrast.Nominated by abstraction
Then, there's the tow truck driver who held me at gunpoint in 2007. Scum bags of the Universe.
I had a crazy-ass neighbor who, legend has it, jumped the barbwired fence, outran the dogs and firebombed one of their trucks years ago right on their lot. That doesn't sound possible. He was out of town for 2 weeks and said his crappy car was in a legal spot. When he came back it cost him more to get the car out than the car was worth.
With Ravari, the crappy thing is that many people used to be able to park at that spot all of the time. So, unless there is a huge new sign- who's going to notice it? You're not going to look for it.
When my car(s) was towed from a bar it was in a spot that was always legal for patrons (they still park there nightly), but, I guess the guy who owned the spot decided to change the terms for the evening. Nice!!!!!!!!!!
So, I got bad towing karma out of the way in one year. I was on the fast-track in 2007-08 of paying it all up front for the rest of my life.
Go get some. Get it out of the way, now. There's too much other stuff to get done.
Dagger dagger wrote:
hey junior tiger, welcome to the lucrative music industry here in bustown ohio. i want to give you some kpax pay it forward advice that someone told me and this is how i pull a couple hundred a night gigging around town.Nominated by abstraction
first off go to a club. dont email them or call them because they cant see the hunger in your eyes. are you hungry? if you are not hungry thatn we are wasting both of our times - me writing and you reading.
anyway, cool yeah awesome.
you call the venue and ask to speak to the owner. if they say that they got some sleezeball guy booking the shows or one of the tattood colored haired bartneders doing it, say fuck that shit, johnny, i want to talk to the real deal. the guy who wants to make money here. who wants to make money here?
9 times out of 10 the owner will be like ok now are going somewhere with this. i want to make money that is why i charge $2 for a pepsi.
so now you have a binding contract after some paperwork. you probably cant do this write away but i can - i tell a bar that i need $600 - 300 upfront, 300 after the show is over. i like it to get free drinks for me - and maybe the rest of the band - but definitely me. and you want your girlfriend to get in for free. that is mandatory..
once you make $600 a show and you play sweet clubs then you will get an audience.
after you play a few shows, then you will go and probably start getting a reputation and get promotion in dispatch or columbus alive or whatever. so that is cool.
i hope this helps. sounds like your band is too new to play with me so dont ask to play with any of my 3 bands.
we might be into playing with you if you give us the whole $600 upfront and we play in the middle. we prefer to play 2nd out of 5.
do you want to book us?
justin wrote:Freakin' nominated by coydog? (Explanation)
Wesley Flexner wrote:
Pretty much nominated by thisoneholymedium
fully support gaga and gism
Anyone who is fronting on Lady Gaga doesn't hang out with enough young whores that are both selfdestructive and nicely dressed.
Will have been nominated next year by cruise_elroy
THIS JUST IN COMFEST WILL NOW BE KNOWN AS VAMPIRE WEEKEND
THIS JUST IN PITCHFORK JUST PURCHASED COMFEST
"PitchFest" is a great name if for no other reason than the logos will be much easier to alter for the jokes when people start complaining about it.*
*Though I still like Lifestyles Community Fest, most of all.
Dagger dagger wrote:
YOU ARE SO STUPID CHURCH OF THE RED MUSEUMSecretly nominated by thefiercelime
FUCKING THAT ONE BAND THAT I HATE
JOE FROM THE TREEHOUSE
THE STUPID TREE IN THE HGREEHOUSE YOU ARE NOT VAMPIRE WEEKEND
PROK FRIED RICE FROM LAST NIGHT THAT I THREW UP AFTER LIKE 20 CORONAS
ALL OF YOU ARE SO ANNOYING COMPARED TO THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS VAMPIRE WEEKEND, THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND SINCE THE BEATLES
I ONT CARE THAT JOE FROM TREEHOUSE HATES ME AND WONT BOOK MY BANDS ANYMORE I AM OVER IT . VAMPIRE WEEKEND CHANGES MY LIFE EVERY DAY
HOW AMANY SHOWS WILL I GO TO SEE IN NEW YORK AT RADIO CITY? MAYBE ALL OF THEM. I GOT A LOT OF MONEY BACK FROM TAXES.
I AM SO HIGH AND DRUNK FROM VAMPIRE WEEKEND SHOW AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING POSTING HERE I SHOULD BE GETTING LAID BUT INSTEAD IAM DOING THIS BECAUSE FUCK THE BANDS THAT I HATE AND LOVE THE BAND THAT I LOVE WHCIH IS VAMPIRE WEEKEND.
BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER I MAY CUT DOWN THE TREE IN THE TREEHOUSE IF THE ROOF HASNT CAVED IN IN THAT GARBAGE DUMP
BombsOutOfBibles wrote:Hypothetically nominated by bug (For the FYI of newcomers, and to remind the Donewaiters who will have forgotten by the time this goes to a vote, BOOB is addressing BillyCool of Billy Cool and the Whips.)
youngstown tune-up wrote:
"Nominated" by groundrules via "groundrules" in accordance with the ground rules (As the link will show, I responded to YTU's offer with a fake quote from groundrules. It was quite clever. While I'm not necessarily disqualifying myself as a rule, it seemed more appropriate in this case to pass along the nomination to YTU; thorny's post was inserted for clarity.)
I need to create a video today for a Columbus band for a job interview/spec. Short interview/performnce (preferably acoustic). Doesn't have to be the full band as long as you have 1 or 2 songs you can perform. PM me if interested. See my work here:
I will consider doing this for you. First I need to set the ground rules:
1. No shirts.
2. No not touching.
4. Character actor Robert Loggia
I will see you in my lah-bore-itory at a quarter past the witching hour. Bring leather gloves.
german vlg coffeeshop…yesNominated by thisoneholymedium in one holy medium
dan's diner on south high…YESx1,000,000
i feel, at this point on into the foreseeable future, that unless i start making enough of the kind of money that turns one into the particular kind of douche that drives a rangerover, i should/will not be eating at northstar. not that it isn't good…not that it isn't worth a premium…but srsly, it seems like they're just saying don't come here unless you use burning hundred dollar bills to light yer american spirits. ORGANIC, HEALTHY FOOD SHOULD NOT BE SO PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE THAT IT GIVES PPL ANOTHER EXCUSE TO NOT SUPPORT SUCH AN IMPORTANT ENDEAVOR. especially when there aren't a million highly visible merchants purveying said food/supporting said endeavor in a specific market. also, if i have to work for longer than it takes to enjoy yer burger and chips in order to afford yer burger and chips, i hereby offer you this bag of dicks (instructions included).
I blame Record Store Day. brick and mortar is killing the internet.Nominated by BastardSuperstar (A comment on the imminent shutdown of Lala.com's music service)
COuld CIRCUS be a lArger iNdusTry like WRESTLING iF greats like VINCE were there to pRomOte tHe iNdustry? Circus is damn underrated .The artist work soo hard but they dont get tha appreciaton they deserve.Nominated by jill ebenezer (One year later, the thread about a stolen guitar at the bar named Circus produces an even less comprehensible post from a n00b.)
yeah, far and away.Nominated by underspecialization irl
them and lapedis were the only ones who's personality NEVER worked my nerves . . .
and as far as aaron and walt:
sometimes you spend years believing/being told that someone is truly special, and in the end you find out they're not.
L I F E
ZAS,Nominated by abstraction
i am currently listening to your new music... the music is much improved from last time, but honestly my main issue is your sound palette and high-hat sequencing... your vocals sound much better than on earlier records (they are much lower in the mix). my advice is save some money and either buy some of the equipment from the time period you are attempting to recreate (roland jupiter 4, korg mono/poly, SC prophet 5 and a pre-1980s string machine (arp, crumar, elka, siel) and a you should probably go ahead and buy an 808 (honestly it will be worth every penny of the $2000 that it will run you). stop using ableton live or fruity loops or whatever it is you are currently using... also get a stand alone reverb unit (if you want it to sound like new order (it sure sounds like it) then get an early 80s digital reverb unit, not plate, or spring) also stop programing the drums like an early 90s house song, and try and make them sound like disco drum (that is what all the bands you like did, programed a primative drum machine to sound like disco, less chicago, more new york...)
also, your lyrics are weird, make them weirder... maybe you should write some songs about being on a beach, or driving expensive cars. outerspace is usually a good subject, maybe a song attempting to describe sex in outerspace, or sex with a creature from another solar system. film noir motifs are also a tried and true early electro subject matter, maybe write a song about being a spy, a sexy spy, or a private eye. a love song written from the perspective of a piece of technology (cell phone, synthesizer, drum machine, TiVo unit, GPS unit, laptop, smartphone). also you should write a song about doing your hair, girls love to dance to songs they can relate to and i don't think there has ever been a song about doing your hair.
other things that could help you become an overnight sensation...
move to europe
move to japan
become gay (it worked for the guy from judas priest)
become a pedophile (it worked for gary glitter)
claim to be from outerspace (it worked for roky erikson)
claim to not be from outerspace
get a sex change (it worked for amanda lepore)
design a sports car and make your website only about the car, not your music (it worked for georgio moroder)
get long braided hair that has the same effect as dreadlocks (it worked for sylvester)
i look forward to you implementing these ideas into your blossoming career.
tiger yang wrote:
Nominated by abstraction
we even take offense that certain other collectives feel the need to change the colloquial name of the area to something as thoughtless and uncreative as SOHUD.
Psssh. Speak for yourself. I've vowed never to return to Columbus until they officially rename the Short North area the SHONO
If you'll remember, Columbus is the art capital of the world. You should realize by now that a city doesn't come into its own until urban neighborhoods are rechristened by Realtors with an edgy allure for today's urban frontiersmen: knobby-kneed white men in khakis and man sandals who fall into the marketing segment of wanting a loft in Soho while keeping their exciting jobs at Nationwide.
Here are some names I've personally pitched Columbus city council in the hopes of speeding up what is sure to be an urban redevelopment Phoenix from the ashes: IT-VILO, GER-VILO, FRAN-LO, NOCUPS, SOCUPS, GRANVU,
. Remember, if you name it correctly, they will come. They might even build a Red Lobster.
After our renaming bonanza and aggressive marketing plans are complete, we will commence upon the final stage:
Mayor Coleman will hold a ribbon-cutting ceremony to commemorate the construction of city block after city block of high rise condos that will remains as empty as the commercial space surrounding it, at least until they build another mall to bring the people back. City in the sky my ass, Lando.
Oh, as far as the competing band names thing is concerned ... neither groups have names that are particularly novel or interesting, so perhaps arguing about this is just a big waste of your time?
CPD: the safe word is 'banana'.Nominated by abstraction
That OP article rocks. "The Offramp... has been just like a night at Bourbon Street or Carabar, and for years, the general committee has been saying that they don't want it to be that way."
Fuck how popular the Offramp is with the public, forget the support of the Community, the General Committee has decided what art is allowed and what is un-mutual and decadent.
The people who come to the offramp don't volunteer enough? What, you got a fucking headcount percentage to work from there, Kommissar? Or are the Party Cultural Revolution Council leaders simply stereotyping that "those goddamn punk kids" won't "grow up and volunteer to work the yoga yogurt chakra gorp booth" and "won't get off my goddamn lawn"?
"We'll show those young punk rocksters with their Sha Na Na and their The Flotation Devices and No Doubt and their The Radioed Heads. From now on, OffRamp is just for nice quiet Bluegrass like Martha and I used to listen to back in the Commune yurt."
The four tapes cover the alphabet, numbers, health and safety, and foreign cultures. The multicultural story is unforgettable and worth the nightmares it may generate.Lots of musty peach meat on the nose initially. Plenty of souring bugs and yeast.Nominated by blammo (This one's a grower. Read it a few times.)
Can't blame a guy for hating anyone associated with the Supersuckers or solo artists who travel by PT CruiserNominated by Jawbreaker
Bo Davis wrote:
Are there actual indie rockers in this town?Nominated (implicitly) by underspecialization
Bo Davis wrote:
I've fortunately never had to sit through any band that I thought sucked. Was this some sort of "Saw" scenario?Nominated by abstraction (I disagreed with Undy's pick for this thread, so I tacked on what I felt was a stronger Bo quote from the same page.)
Bo Davis wrote:
Every post I made this year.Nominated (explicitly) by underspecialization (This may or may not increase Bo's chances)
. . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we're back.
Double Exposure: http://www.myspace.com/stract and http://www.facebook.com/stract
Last edited by abstraction on Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:09 pm, edited 24 times in total.