Ok so I was sitting around bored and decided to attend an open mic night I found listed on http://openmiccolumbus.com/EventListing So I picked the Crest Taven and wow... what a fed up night! I have now officially been in every bar in town! Who even knew that place existed?

OK so I go in with my guitar and set it by the stage I asked if it was open mic night and the dude in there said yes it is. I asked if there was a sign up sheet he said no, so I figured after a hour or so They would ask some people to OPEN MIC... in my book this means get up play for 15 or 20 and let the next goofass on stage...

Well at Crest while the musicians were all great jazz heads! They had the inflated ego of ten billion douche splats.... Sure the music was great however they need to get off the open mic board and call themself JAZZ Sit in Night... HUGE DIFFERENCE! O wait we had the typical banjo player wanted me to play bass with his gloom dispair and agony on me.... WOW !At least the dude was cool! But WOW!

So after getting drunk I meet a cool dude drinking one of the only good things about the place good hoppy brews... The Clintonville type people and there is a clintonville sausage fest type of people... Anyways... Dude said he had been drinking in there for 3 years and never saw a fight... Well of course what happens 20 minuites later ass knob at foose ball table starts a fight with some jackknob - fucking nearly bumped into the table I was sitting at with my gal... So OK at least that was fun!

So I recommend ... If your having open mic night , and someone comes out to play. Don't be a selfish douche rude ass and act like your doing me a favor by playing all night your fing JAZZ! Like you think your bettter than anyone... Please spare ME Let someone that is actually Verbally entertaining have a shot at entertaining you!

Also If I ever see the asshole that said some shit to the bar owner the typical untalented girlfriendless dick type , that couldn't play a guitar that wants to say stupid shit..on his way out..... after I decided to do open mic at the bar anyways I'm gona bust his shitty job having toothless teeth in! Fight two in three years!

Screw that monday night sausage HELL!

Although I have never been to an open mic there, I have always enjoyed the Crest. I like that they have the mirror over the bar, so the bartenders can check out the boobies.

here is something that works.....

I bet you are one of the Clintonville girlfriendless DOUCHEBAG JAZZ FAGS!

BWWSWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAVE FUN watching a MOVIE! BIG GUY!

This is a pretty great thread so far. Somebody alert Noni Allman.

Carabar has a great open mic. I arrive early on Sunday and tell Ron that he still owes me a shit-ton of beer and a 3-round boxing match for charity. I have grown a mustache. I pretend that I am a member of Queen. I talk about art school and comic books. I bring a guitar that I built myself and sounds like shit. I like the way it sounds. I wear a t-shirt that is two sizes too small (a Joan Jett or Donnie Iris tour t-shirt if I can find one), a huge pair of my girlfriend's shades and her skinny jeans. I ride in on a bicycle or skateboard with my own 6-pack of Bud Dry and my great sweaty crack on display. I play "Daniel" by Elton John and demand to be paid. I tell them that I have so much soul I just don't know what to do. At the very least they should comp my beers. I proudly let them know that I can play Guns n' Roses, Queensryche, Twisted Sister, Kiss, Black Sabbath, Hendrix, Clapton, (all that shit, man)...but I am into Debussy, Wagner, The National and Daniel Johnston.

If they give me a hard time I do the same thing on Monday night. If I am not recognized I leave in obscurity and misery, write a very long letter to the editor and give them a bad review on city search or some shit. If things turn really sour by all means I take down that hideous onstage American flag. It has been begging for me to set it on fire for years.